Singham Effect

SINGHAM EFFECT

Dad: Result kya aaya?

Boy: Aai chya gavat, fail ho gaya.

Dad: Besharam! Nalayak..

Boy: Kuch bhi karne ka,

Mera ego hurt nahin karneka...:

Dad: Aaj se teri pocket moneybandh.

Boy: Meri jarooriyat kam he, 

Isi liye meri Zamir me dum he....:

Dad: Get out. 

Boy: Aata Maaji satakli re!

Dad: Mujhe ab Papa mat kehna.

Boy: Ae Gotya.. Gotya.. Gotya..

Guru ke Ghar ka Darwaaja

Guru ne Ghar ka Darwaza ukhada or kandhe pe rakh k Bazar me gya...

Raaste main uuse Chela Mil gya...

 

Chele ne poucha: O Guru, Kya Drwaza Bechnaa hai ?

Guru:Nhi Tala Khulwana hai Chabi gum ho gye hai. 

Chela Guru se: Agar ghar mai Chor ghus gye to..?

Guru: Andar kese jayega, drwazaa to mere pas hai...-:)

What came 1st…? Sun or Moon?

Lecturer  to Guru-:

What came 1st…?Sun or Moon?

Guru:- Obviously Moon.

Lecturer:- How?..

Guru:- Abe Dhakkan, Honey 'MOON' hoga,...

 tabhi to 'SON' Ayega na...!

Guru ne fenka kuda

Guru ne gali k ek kone me kachra fenk diya...

Thodi der baad ghoom-phir kar gali mein aaya,

To Mohalle wale aapas mein lad rahe the 

ki kachra kis ne fenka?

Ek aadmi ne ghusse sekaha-:

"Feka hoga kisi kutte k bachche ne.."

Guru side mein ja kar khoob hansa aur bola-:

"Kachra maine feka,

aur naam kutte k bachche ka lagg gaya.."

A simple ques. from Student to his teacher

Sir - "Birbal Kaun Tha?"

Student - "Pata Nahi Sir"

Sir - "Padhaai Par Dhyaan Do To Na Pata Chale"

Student - "Pramod, Vicky, Gaurav Kaun Hai?"

Sir - "Mujhe Kya Pata"

Student - "Beti Par Dhyaan Do To Na Pata Chale"...

Guru in Hotel

Guru in Hotel:

Main yaha nahi rahunga.

Mere paise wapas karo.

Itna chotta room?

 Na he koi khidki, Na he koi balkoni??

Mujhe jaanwar samjha h kya?

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Waiter: Mere Baap, Upar chal, yeh LIFT hai.... :D

Guru v/s Chinese Frnd

Ek baar Jackie Chan ki biwi mar gayi.

Guru ko pata nahi chala ki wo usse kya kahe???

Phir bahut der sochne ke baad bola,".

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Hota hai yaar CHINESE thi aur kitne din chalti???

Guru, A Pilot of Indian Air Force

Fighter pilot Guru, Kamyabi k baad 

Apna Jahaaz land karne pe bohut khush hua..

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Landing karte  ground staff ne usey hatho hath lia

aur uski wardi utarne me help karne lage...

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Guru (Fakr se): Aaj maine Pakistan ke 

4 jahaaz, 

2 helicopter or 

1 tank ko mara hai..

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Ground Staff: Wo sab to theek hai

lekin sir ji apne 1 galti kar di..

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Guru :Kaun si galti?

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Ground Staff: Bas aap isi khushi me

Pakistan me hi land kar gaye hain...:p@:

American v/s Pagal

Pagal chinese se: "Tum American ho?"

Chinese: "Nahi, mai chainese hu."

Pagal:"Nahi tum american ho.?"

Chinese gusse me:"Ha mai American hu."

Pagal:"lagte to Chinese ho..."

Suggesion of GirlFrnd to his BoyFrnd

Girl Friend to his Boy Friend

"Aap cigarette mat piya karo, 

bohot badbu aati hai."

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BF ne cigarette pina chhod diya...

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Girl Friend to his Boy Friend

"aap paan, gutkha mat khaya karo.daant kharab ho jayenge..."

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Bf ne paan aur gutkha khana bhi chhod diya...

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Girl Friend to his Boy Friend

"aap bike dhire chalaya karo, 

kahi accident na ho jaye..."

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Bf ne bike dheere chalani shuru kar di...

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Girl Friend to his Boy Friend

"aap apne baal thik se rakha karo,

acche nahi lagte aise..."

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BF ne apne baal thik kar liye...

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Kuch mahine Baad...

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Gf:"Ab aap pehle jaise nahi rahe..." :-)

Kissing Moment

Girl after kissing her boyfriend :

Thank you baby...

you know aaj se pehle maine aisi kiss nahi ki... 

and pata hai tumhara chewing gum mere muh me aa gaya...

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Boy : That was not chewing gum my love,

I am suffering from cough... :-))

Boy & Girls, when he/she need help

Girl to her friends-Mujhe tumhari help chahiye

Girl 1 - yaar me toh khud busy hu.. :(

Girl 2 - Yaar mummy ne jaldi ghar bulaya hai :O

Girl 3 - kya tune meri help ki thi?

Boy to his Friends -- yaar ek panga ho gaya...

Boy 1 -- bol kitne bande bulaun:@

Boy 2 -- Kaat ke rakh denge saale ko...

Boy 3 -- kiski itni himmat, apne bhai se panga kare... Naam bata !

Statement of Boyz about Girls in Collage

Statement of boys, when they remain unsuccessful in

making girlfriends in College...

1st sem: Meri to pehle se hai

2nd sem: Chalo try karenge

3rd sem: Apne batch me koi dhang ki nahi hai

4th sem: Juniors bhi dhang ki nahi hai

5th sem: Bhai kisise intro to kara

6th sem: Koi bhi chalegi

7th sem: Mere paas time nahi tha varna

And Finally...

With Full Attitude

8th sem:

Dekha puri degree ho gayi par aaj tak kisiko bhaav nahi diya....

but mere man me 1 sawal he

Ye bat girls karti he ya boys ...???

Pappu & Golu in Train

Train me 2 aadmi pappu aur golu safar kar rahe the...

Pappu - Kahan se aa rahe ho...??

Golu - Mumbai se...

Pappu - Wahan se to main bhi araha hun...

Mumbai me kahan se aa raheho...??

Golu - Iqbal town...

Pappu - Wahan se to main bhi aa raha hun...

ye batao Iqbal town me kahan se aa rahe ho....??

Golu - Street 2 se...

Pappu - Wahan se to main bhi aa raha hun 

ye batao street 2 se kiske ghar se aa rahe ho.....??

Golu - Basheer sahab ke ghar se...

Pappu - Wahaan se to main bhi aa raha hun...

aacha ye batao kahaan jaa rahe ho....??

Itne mein Aaas paas ke musafiron ne tang aake kaha akhir tum dono ho kaun....??

Dono bole - Hum dono bhai hain,

time pass kar rahe hai...